Push Back Against 'The Dying Of The Light'

It was the poet Dylan Thomas who wrote the famous couplet that concludes his poem, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, which many readers will be familiar with: 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

Readers may not be aware that while the poem starts with the same two lines, there is an additional line sandwiched between them, so that the first verse of the poem reads:

Do not go gentle into that good night, 

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Towards the end of a recent meeting with my financial advisor, the discussion turned from financial matters to grander themes including travel, attitudes to ageing, and making the most of the limited time retirees like myself may have left to us. Somewhere during that chat I talked about an attitude of mine I call, pushing back. That is, pushing back against the ageing process; pushing back against the fears, doubts and insecurities that often make us stay close to home, living what we think are safe, secure and contented lives away from the cut and thrust of the busy world around us. I also keep pushing back against the perception that it is a dangerous world ‘out there’; that no matter how careful we think we are being when we leave our homes, accidents, injuries and even death are lurking just around the next corner waiting to strike us down.

I should say at the outset that I am 66, single, and available… oh, wait…, sorry, that’s an article for a different website! Since my early retirement in 2007, I have embarked on four extended trips away from Australia, and good health willing, I will head off on another journey this year. All four trips have been undertaken as a solo traveller. That is, I travelled on my own. Travelling solo is something I have enjoyed doing for many years. I like the freedom it gives me to follow my own interests, to travel at my own pace, to stay out late and to sleep in even later if I so wish. 

Travelling solo is another way of pushing back. It forces me to rely on my own skills and abilities, to sort out my own mistakes, or problem solve and make adjustments to existing travel arrangements. When I headed off on my first round the world trip in 2008 (after more than 30 years), I made use of a travel agent, and have no regrets that I did. Again in 2010, I used a travel agent to book my main flights around the world, but booked internal flights and accommodations in America and Europe myself. By 2012—and again in 2014—I was ready to go completely solo. I myself researched, booked and organised flights, accommodations, travel insurance, and all other aspects of my trips.

As a solo traveller, taking responsibility for my own travel arrangements has given me the confidence to plan and undertake future journeys, secure in the knowledge that I have already displayed the skills, resourcefulness, self-reliance and self-belief to take care of myself under most circumstances.

During my trips I find other ways to push back. In 2010 I travelled by Greyhound Bus from New York City to New Orleans, a distance of around 2,170 kilometres (1,350 miles). Along the way I stopping in Philadelphia (to catch up with American cousins), and Raleigh, North Carolina (to catch up with expat Australian friends). For many people, travelling by bus in America is probably their last and cheapest option for getting from point A to point B.

I didn’t have to travel by bus, but I chose to do so for the adventure and the experience, for the challenge, for the need to break out of my comfort zone, and for the desire to push back against the fear of the unknown or the perceived dangers. I have written extensively about this bus trip already so I won’t repeat myself here, except to say that the whole trip passed without incident or accident, and that it has been one of the great lasting impressions from that visit to America.

Incentives for pushing back can come from fellow travellers who may be much older than we are. While travelling in Cambodia during 2011, I met a 77 year old German man travelling alone and thought, “Why not? More importantly I thought, “Why couldn’t that be me when I’m seventy-seven?”

I also met an elderly couple from Sri Lanka travelling in the company of their much younger nephew. We met as they were descending (and I was ascending), a steep, twisting, root and boulder covered path that led to a series of stone carvings known as Kbal Spean. Although the climb was only some 1500 metres in length, under the heat and humidity of the midday sun, it wasn’t long before I and everyone else I encountered, were covered with sweat and struggling for breath.

As I recall, the elderly man was 82 years of age, and his wife not much younger. Again I thought, “If they can do it, why can’t I?” Why not, indeed? As long as I am in reasonably good health, there is no logical reason that I can’t still be travelling when I am 77 or even 82 years of age. As long as I can continue to overcome those fears and doubts, I’m sure I will be travelling for a long time yet.

So, don’t give in to your fears and insecurities. Push back. Don’t give in to your aches and pains. Push back against them too. And push back against the idea that you are too old, too slow, or too […enter your excuse of choice here…].

Finally, while I don't normally pay much attention to horoscopes, on the morning of August 25, 2012, as I left New York City on yet another journey down the east coast of America, one of the city’s daily papers, amNewYork had this advice for Libran’s like myself: “Get ready for another great learning experience. If you don't try, you won't know whether or not you can. Go for it! You can always get back on the horse.” 

That is pretty good advice for anyone I reckon, so keep pushing back, and “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

The Fear Factor



Nothing succeeds like failure!

Fear is a powerful motivator of behaviour

that seldom takes us where we want to go.

~ Gordon Livingston, MD

I’ve just finished reading a couple of books by GordonLivingston, MD, a psychotherapist with a wonderful take on life that I find refreshing, and encouraging. The books are Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart and his follow up to that book, And Never Stop Dancing.

Each book consists of thirty short chapters bearing headings such as The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves, We are afraid of the wrong things, Not all who wander are lost, and We are defined by what we fear. There are also chapter headings like Marriage ruins a lot of good relationships and my favourite, The primary difference between intelligence and stupidity is that there are limits to intelligence.

Clearly, Gordon is a doctor with a sense of humour!

Many of the excellent essays in the books have got me thinking about the issue of fear, and how it is that far too many people let their fears rule their lives. Often these fears are not grounded in reality, but are dominated and fed by endless bad news stories in print media, on television, and now across the Internet.

With regards to travel, many people prefer to stay close to home (literally), and rarely, if ever, venture further than the edge of town. The idea of heading off on an extended holiday terrifies some people. Others that do travel for long (or short) periods, are not happy unless every stop along the way has been booked and confirmed, and arrival and departure times are mapped and plotted with military precision. Not that there’s anything wrong with this. At least these people are travelling.

There is a huge leap of faith involved in travel. Each journey we make allows us to confront our fears; gives us many chances to test our planning, organisational and negotiating skills; provides numerous opportunities to meet and strike up conversations with complete strangers – often using the barest knowledge of the local language, and each journey also challenges us to face up to our own particular prejudices (and fears).

Since 2008 I have made two extended journeys – one of seven months, and the other of eight months duration. I can honestly say that I never once faced a threat to my welfare or safety during those trips. Any ‘threats’ I did face were entirely of my own imagining, and were always a result of my ignorance and prejudices.

Wherever I have travelled, from the richest countries (the USA, France, and Britain, to one of the poorest (Cambodia), I have been lucky enough to encounter people who were friendly, welcoming, and more than happy to see me visiting their city, village or country. They were not out to rip me off, rob me (or worse), or treat me with anything but care and respect. The one exception on my 2008 trip was the team of pickpockets I encountered in Athens (see Three Man Crush), and the scammers and con artists I encountered around some of the major tourist attractions in Paris (see One Ring to Scam Us All), but my own gullibility is at fault here, and although I was conned out of a few Euros in Paris, I was never under threat of personal injury or harm.

When we are young we are more inclined to take chances and risks, but as we grow older we tend to be more careful and conservative with our actions and risk taking behaviour. As I approach my senior years, I too have become more cautious and careful, and this is wise and prudent. However, age has not stopped me from constantly pushing myself to be more adventurous with my travels and to stay ‘young’ in other ways.

For example, my Greyhound Bus trip from New York City to New Orleans last year (my six part report begins here…), or my month in Cambodia this past March (of which I still have much to write), both challenged me to go beyond my comfort zone in terms of organization, patience, stamina, methods of travel, and in many other ways.

The next time I head overseas for an extended journey I will almost certainly be in my 63rd year. But this is still quite young in many respects. While travelling in Cambodia I met a 77 year old German man travelling alone, and thought, “Why not? More importantly I thought, “Why not me?”

I also met an elderly couple from Sri Lanka travelling in the company of their much younger nephew. We met as they were descending (and I was ascending), a steep, twisting, root and boulder covered dirt path that led to a series of stone carvings known as Kbal Spean. Although the climb was only some 1500 metres in length, under the heat and humidity of the noon day sun, it wasn’t long before I and everyone else I encountered, were covered with sweat and struggling.

As I recall, the elderly man was 82 years of age, and his wife not much younger. Again I thought, “If they can do it, why can’t I?”

Why not, indeed. As long as I am in reasonably good health, there is no logical reason that I can’t still be travelling when I am 77 or even 82 years of age. The only thing stopping me is fear and the eternal – or should that be, infernal –  “What if?”

As long as I can continue to overcome those fears and doubts, I’m sure I will be travelling for a long time yet.


Image source: http://www.effective-time-management-strategies.com/

House Swapping For A Better World?

~ This is the third in an occasional series of articles about house swapping your home with another family, thereby making the most of your travel experience in another city or country. The first article was House Swaps: The Practical Way To Go, while the second article, House Swapping for Seniors, provided practical advice for that age specific group of travellers. These blog entries are sourced from, and used with the permission of the Aussie House Swap website.

I'd like to spend a few moments looking at a side of house swapping which is real, but probably not given a lot of thought – especially by those who haven't as yet taken part in an actual house exchange.

And that is the role that caring, sharing and generosity of spirit plays in a house swapping program, such as that facilitated by Aussie House Swap. Because when all is said and done, the parties to a house swap are engaging in what is virtually an act of trust and intimacy by opening their homes to each other.

Your home is, after all, very much a reflection and almost a defining part of who you are. It's your "inner sanctum," the private place to which you withdraw after a day out in the world of business and commerce, or even of social or community activity. It's where you rest up, kick off your shoes, and let your "real" self emerge. And where you literally wash your dirty laundry!

The home is where you and those closest to you share your private lives and your most intimate moments. It's also at times the scene of some very difficult passages in your life, and the place where you have to deal with some of your most thorny issues. And it's where you retire to when your working life is done. Opening your home to others is without doubt sharing part of your private, inner self with them.

Inviting somebody into your home is also a demonstration of your hospitality – whether it's to hold some kind of meeting, to stay for a period, or simply to share a meal together. All the more is this the case when you completely vacate your home for a number of weeks, and allow another family or couple the full use of it.

In every way the home is regarded as a special place, the opening of which to strangers, friends and family alike is an act of grace, openness and acceptance. So when two homeowners agree to swap homes, and actually make the exchange, they are showing a considerable amount of trust in each other. They're giving and receiving value, and sharing something which is fundamentally private, in a spirit of generosity.

They are, in their own small way, displaying the kind of attitudes and taking the kinds of actions which – if practised on a grand scale – could genuinely make the world a better place for all. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty worthwhile thing to do, and counters just a little of the animosity, fear and selfishness which is unquestionably harming the home of us all, the earth.

Swapping houses is also engaging in a level of mutual confidence that your home and its contents will be treated with respect, and handled carefully. That this confidence is warranted is shown by surveys which indicate that damage rarely occurs when houses are swapped, and that when it does, it's nearly always of a minor nature.

House swapping also gives you the opportunity to get to know some of the locals, and experience their lifestyle, habits and surroundings by living "in the community," rather than spending all your time in the artificial environment of a hotel or similar holiday accommodation, and just seeing the tourist attractions.

Furthermore, a house swapping holiday allows people with disabilities to take their own time, and when they need it to rest undisturbed – instead of being bumped and jostled in crowded resorts, or disturbed by maids needing to make the beds and clean up the room to meet their schedule, not yours. It's even possible to seek out house swaps with other disabled people, and each have the use of facilities – ramps, special bath rooms, toilets and the like – which are designed for their special needs.

Hosting
As well as straight swap overs covering the identical period of time, some people enjoy "hosting" another couple, then later on being hosted by them in return. This simply means that the owners remain at home, and host their swap partners as guests and visitors for an agreed period. They enjoy each other's company, do some exploring and shopping together, see some of the sights, and perhaps fish or play a round of golf together. Then at a later date, they reverse the process. The hosts become the visitors, just as the visitors become the hosts in their home and town.

Hosting is a great way to build new friendships, and increase mutual empathy and understanding between people of different backgrounds and from different parts of the country, or even overseas.

How much does it cost?
Aussie House Swap membership is only $65 per year! However, if you do not manage to house swap in your first year we will give you another 12 months membership absolutely free! This is our guarantee to you! For $65 (less than the cost of one nights motel accommodation) you can make as many house swaps as you like within your 12 months.

Article courtesy of Aussie House Swap website. Like our Partner site, Home Away, Aussie House Swap gives you the opportunity to stay in someone else’s home, while they stay in yours.

Image used for illustration purposes only.