My Dream Vacation

~ So here’s a question for you.

If you had $100,000 and six months to spend it on your dream vacation, where would you go, and what would you do?

And just so you know: No, I don’t have a spare one hundred grand, either for you or myself, but I did think it would be an interesting intellectual exercise to fantasize about my dream vacation for a couple of hours (yes, I know, I do have too much time on my hands). Oh, and just for the record, I am not an intellectual!

Alright… I’ll go first. Let me see…

First up, starting from here (here being Adelaide, Australia), I would travel by merchant ship to the USA, island hopping my way across the Pacific Ocean. Stops along the way would include New Zealand, Tahiti, and Mexico, before disembarking in San Francisco.

From San Francisco, armed with a copy of Jamie Jensen’s Road Trip USA I would begin my long dreamed about road trip across the United States – first down the Pacific coast to Los Angeles, San Diego, and Tucson, Arizona catching up with relatives along the way (making sure I visited Monument Valley and the Grand Canyon of course).

Most serious road trip enthusiasts dream about driving the length of the famed Route 66 at least once in their lives, and I’m no exception. From Tucson, it wouldn’t be to hard to head north again and join Route 66 at Flagstaff. However, being a ‘completist’ (is that even a real word?), if I was going to drive Route 66, I would have to head back to LA and start the journey proper from there.

Now those of you familiar with the song, Route 66, will immediately realize that would be doing it all wrong. According to the song, Route 66 “Winds from Chicago to LA,” but do I really want to fly or drive all the way to Chicago, just so I can spend several weeks singing the lines of the song every mile along the route in the proper order they were written?

Of course, you are right. Am I a completist or aren’t I?

Ok, so I’d fly to Chicago and drive Route 66 north to south (or to be more precise – north to south-west), and make sure I have lots of great adventures along the way. Unfortunately, that means I am back where I started – sort of. I now have to get from LA to New York City. I could fly, but where’s the fun in that? So after resting my numb bum in Los Angeles for a few days, it’s back into the hire car for the long drive across the American south and up the east coast to New York.

After spending a couple of weeks in New York City, it’s on to the Republic of Ireland – via Niagara Falls and Canada. Well, why not?

Now, relax. I don’t mean to bore you with every stop along the way, so here in some sort of order is the rest of my fantasy vacation: From Ireland I would go to England, France, Spain, and Morocco. The north African leg of my trip also takes in Senegal, Mali, Algeria, Libya, and Egypt. From there it’s on to Turkey, Greece, Italy, Switzerland, the Czech Republic, Germany, and the Netherlands. Now it’s time to rug up and head north into Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, and Russia. By train we cross the Russian steppes to Mongolia and China. We’re on the homeward stretch now. Just a few more countries left (Japan, Hong Kong, Vietnam, and Thailand) before finally setting down in Darwin, Australia.

From Darwin I would drive back to Adelaide the ‘long way’. That is, via Kakadu, Alice Springs, Mount Isa, Brisbane, and then down along east coast passing through Sydney, Melbourne, and finally on to Adelaide.

Whew, that is a sum total of 33 countries in six months, and more miles than I care to think about.

Is it possible? Would $100,000 be enough?

Hey, what do I know? This is a fantasy vacation after all. A pipe dream. A flight of the imagination. A meditation on the possible – or if you insist, the impossible. But who knows? Maybe, just maybe, if I can’t do the whole trip I can do parts of it. Maybe I don’t have to complete the whole journey in six months. What if I only do the ocean voyage and the road trip? That would be a good start in anyone’s book – wouldn’t it? I can always tackle other parts of the journey later.

So what does your dream vacation involve?

Don’t hold back. Let your imagination run wild, and let me know via the comments section below. Alternatively, you could write a longer piece and send it to me. With your permission I might republish it here as part of my blog.

Go on, share the dream.

Drive Across Australia For Almost Nothing

~ I’ve heard about this sort of thing before, and thought it was an urban myth - but to my amazement it is true.

What am I talking about? A scheme that lets you drive a car, motorhome or campervan right across the country – for next to nothing. In fact, some of the companies involved will even give you up to $500 in free fuel – and pay you an allowance as well!

It sounds crazy, but it’s true. Let me explain. Car rental companies often hire their vehicles out to clients who are travelling in one direction only – say from Adelaide to Brisbane. Once the car has been dropped of at its destination, the rental company then has to get the vehicle back to its home location in Adelaide.

They could of course, wait, and hope that eventually someone in Brisbane will rehire the vehicle and drive it back to Adelaide, but they could end up waiting days or weeks for this to happen. And while they are waiting, they could be losing clients because they don’t have enough hire vehicles left in the yard back in Adelaide to rent out to other clients. Sometimes their only option is to offer amazing inducements to drivers to return the vehicles, and this means that if you are flexible about when you want to travel, you could literally be paid to drive a car or motorhome across the country.

How do you find out which companies are involved and what vehicles are on offer? Go online, dear reader, go online.

For instance Apollo (the campervan and motorhome rental company) have a page on their website where they list the vehicles that need to be relocated back to home base. As I write this, there are 23 such vehicles including a Euro Tourer 2 Berth campervan that needs to be returned to Alice Springs from Adelaide.

As an inducement they are also offering (and I quote from the site): “$1 per day rental, all fuel free (dockets required), $100 travel allowance (no dockets required)”. Yes you read it right. Not only could you be driving this campervan from Adelaide to Alice Springs for a dollar a day, but all fuel is free and they are also offering to pay you a $100 travel allowance! Or you could drive a Euro Deluxe 6 Berth motorhome from Cairns to Sydney for just a dollar a day, and they will throw in up to $500 worth of free fuel! Yes, it sounds crazy – but it’s true.

Head over to the Apollo website now and take a look at what is on offer. By the way, this is why you have to pay a premium if you are hiring a vehicle and only going in one direction. The hire car company often has to offer inducements, like those on the Apollo website, for someone else to return the car to base.

What’s The Catch? Well, for a start, you can’t spend two weeks returning the vehicle to home base! As you will see on the Apollo site, vehicles have to be returned within a specified period of time. However, if you do want to spend a bit more time on the road, you could of course hire the vehicle for an extra day or two and enjoy the trip rather than simply drive between point A and point B in the fastest possible time.

Another ‘catch’ is that you have to be ready to hit the road with very little notice. Again, take a look at the Apollo web site. Some listings want a vehicle returned “Today”, while others have return dates that are several days off.

One more ‘catch’ to consider – once you have delivered the vehicle as arranged – what do you do when you reach your destination, where do you stay, and how do you get back home again?

And finally, you may not find a vehicle which needs returning to your preferred destination. For example, checking the Apollo website again, today if you wanted to drive from Darwin to Brisbane, you would be out of luck, because no vehicles need to be returned to Brisbane from Darwin. However, that situation could literally change overnight, so it is worth keeping an eye on the site.

Of course, there are the usual Terms & Conditions that apply to vehicle hire, and you will need to meet those before anyone is going to let you hire in the first place. However, adventurous readers may well want to give this method of transport a go. You never know where you might end up!

Image: Courtesy of Apollo website

In Review: Down Under, by Bill Bryson

~ I’ve been doing some catch up reading now that I’m shop sitting the Book Box (Quality Book Resellers), on Semaphore Road, Adelaide.

I’ve got two weeks to read as many books as I can squeeze in – in between writing, surfing the internet, swatting errant flies, drinking cups of coffee, and serving the occasional customer.

I’ve decided to start with Bill Bryson’s, Down Under (2000, Doubleday). Yes, I know I’m nine years and about a million readers late, but then better late than never, as the early adopters might say.

It is always interesting to read other people’s thoughts about the country you live in. You generally find the things that matter to you the most, are often the things others find least interesting. Or to put it another way, the things you take for granted; those things you live with everyday, and often never give a second thought to unless you have to, are precisely the things others find the most fascinating.
Things like the kangaroo, the platypus, koalas, wombats and echidnas just for starters. Then there are some of the deadliest snakes on the planet, sharks, fresh water crocodiles, funnel-web spiders, box jellyfish, and the blue ringed octopus.

The other pleasure is discovering the wealth of interesting information writers like Bryson, are able to uncover during their research, which they subsequently include in their books.

For example, until I read Down Under, I didn’t know that the Simpson Desert was named – in 1929 or 1932, depending on the source you choose – after Alfred Simpson, a manufacturer of washing machines. Say, What? Apparently Simpson funded an aerial survey of the area and as a result had the desert named in his honour!

Thanks Bill, I will never look at my aging Simpson washing machine in the same way again.

Good writers also notice strange quirks that locals have long forgotten or simply don’t ‘see’ anymore. Like when Bryson writes:

“Two of the leading explorers of the nineteenth century were called Sturt and Stuart and their names are all over the place, too, so that you constantly have to stop and think, generally at busy intersections where an instant decision is required, ‘Now do I want the Sturt Highway or the Stuart Highway?’ Since both highways start at Adelaide and finish at places 3,994 kilometres apart, this can make a difference, believe me.”

He is right of course. And since I live in Adelaide myself, I must make a mental note of that to ensure I don’t end up in Alice Springs the next time I want to drive to Sydney.

I was delighted to find that Bill Bryson and I share a common interest, and that is the habit we both have of buying the local paper of whatever city or community we are passing through. As Bryson says:

“What a comfort it is to find a nation preoccupied by matters of no possible consequence to oneself. I love reading about scandals involving ministers of whom I have never heard, murder hunts in communities whose names sound dusty and remote, features on revered artists and thinkers whose achievements have never reached my ears, whose talents I must take on faith.”

The more I read, the more I liked Down Under and it’s very observant author. In a recent post on this blog titled, Something About The Light I wrote, “There is something about the late afternoon light that seems to be uniquely Australian.” Of course, it is presumptive of me to assume the Australian landscape has a monopoly on the uniqueness or otherwise of light, but Bryson also makes observations about the light while driving along our country roads.

“Do you know how sometimes on very fine days the sun will shine with a particular intensity the makes the most mundane objects in the landscape glow with an unusual radiance, so that buildings and structures you normally pass without a glance suddenly become arresting, even beautiful? Well, they seem to have that light in Australia nearly all the time.”

One of the things Bill Bryson is noted for is the humour he brings to his writing. He seems to have the ability to see the funny side of a nations many quirks and foibles, and Australia is no different. His description of listening to a cricket match while driving from Sydney to Adelaide, is one of the funniest I have ever read.

I won’t try to quote from the book since that would spoil the fun for you, if you are yet to read Down Under yourself. Suffice to say that I had to put the book aside because I was laughing so uncontrollably.

Bill Bryson was born in Des Moines, Iowa, and after living for many years in Britain with his English wife and four children moved back to America. He is the best selling author of The Lost Continent, Made in America, A Walk in the Woods, and many other great travel books.

If you haven’t read Bryson’s Down Under you should put it on your reading list now. Despite the fact that it was published in 2000, it has never been out of print, so you will have no trouble finding a copy, either in your local bookshop, online shop of choice, or good secondhand book resellers like the Book Box.

Down Under, Bill Bryson. Pub: 2000, Doubleday